Why women cheat to reach climax during sex? At the age of 22, I was no stranger. I had already had sex and I knew what climax was. I won...

 Why women cheat to reach climax during sex?

At the age of 22, I was no stranger. I had already had sex and I knew what climax was.

I won't say it's always, but most of the time I got a good ending.

But he told me that and… it wasn't the only thing he told me.

'What is happening, mother, is that your secret structure is very high and that is why (by penetration) you do not reach the peak.

Some women climax very quickly.

María (name changed), now in her 30s, recounts how that conversation in bed marked her sexual experiences and who would be her partner for the next four years.

"Sex became a race for him to show that he could make me climax. And I, under pressure and overwhelmed, ended up cheating."

You are not alone, it is a one in a million case.

And experts agree that it's a very common thing, something that research on it also concludes.

According to one of the most recent, published in November 2019, 58.8 percent of the participants - 1,008 American heterosexual women aged 18 to 94 years - said they had a false climax during sex.

Of these, 3 percent said they had done it at some point, although they did not do it again. And 55% mentioned it as something common.

But why is it common to do that? And what worries?

Artificial level

For Blanca, pretending became a habit in a certain period: the year after the birth of her first child.

"After I gave birth my appetite was low, I was full of insecurity about how I saw myself, because my body was not what it used to be.

He was also tired, and when he went back to work it was worse.

I was so tired that making love with my husband was a huge effort.

And since it was very difficult for me to put thoughts into action, I couldn't stop thinking about what I didn't finish at the office, what we missed in the refrigerator, if those noises the baby was making were normal or something was wrong. . one day I decided to pretend I had reached the top.

It wasn't because it didn't excite me, or because I was suddenly doing poorly.

I just wanted to sleep. And that became a habit."

She never told him, the one who claims to have a good relationship with her, so that she wouldn't make him feel bad. Although she admits that she has not been able to talk about it.

Also for the fear of losing a lover, adds Luz Jaimes, sexologist and secretary of the Latin American Federation of Sex Education Organizations.

"There are not a few women who fear that their husbands will leave them because they are not beautiful or not good in bed," he says. And for some of them, the climax - even a pretend one - can be a proof of how experienced they are in having sex.

This is the case of Eli, aged 52, whose anti-depressants slowed her down and she feared that her husband would look for another, "younger, prettier, who would excite her more".

By imitation

Laura Morán, psychologist, and author of "peak stories"), summarizes the reasons for this issue in two parts.

"Or we do it by imitation, because we have the level of a romantic relationship determined by sex movies and especially romantic movies, which show us the climax that is reached after a double push, and we reproduce it so that it does not look like a freak.", says the psychologist, and expert. of families and couples.

Or what she calls "for irritation.

"I mean when, despite the long period of Black and Decker," says Grafica, referring to the popular type of exercise, "the climax does not come, and you want to give the couple an award for their efforts."

It's what Laura did with the boy she had just met at the wedding: reward him with a fake climax.

"After a whole day and part of the night of partying, I knew it wasn't going to be easy. But the guy was patient. We tried all the chances, he excited me in every way... That didn't come. , I couldn't go on anymore, and he got it," she recalls.

Little known

Not paying attention to one's own body also plays its role in this situation, experts emphasize.

"Many of us have heard that the foreskin is a female pleasure organ that is 10 centimeters long. But when we go to institutions with a 3D model, they are not the only ones who look at it in amazement. " he says.

It refers to a model created by researcher Odile Fillod in 2016 based on the work of Australian doctor Helen O'Connell, who in 1998 was the first to describe the full anatomy of the penis.

Its shape resembles that of an inverted "y" and dispels the belief that the penis is a small button-shaped organ that is only found outside the body.

"Knowing each other is important, because if we don't know what we hope for, we won't know how to give ourselves pleasure," says Morán.

And men forge

Therefore, simulating the peak is not something of a specific generation.

It does not happen only to women or in heterosexual relationships, agree the scholars interviewed.

"Sexual behaviors and dysfunctions in same-sex couples are similar to those of heterosexuals, and climax lies are also common," says Jaimes.

As for men, several studies show that, although to a lesser extent, they also fake climax.

"They tend to fake it if they're losing an erection or having trouble maintaining it, either because of anxiety or because they're taking antidepressants (these drugs slow down orgasm)," says Moran.

"If they have used a condom, they usually throw it away without their partner seeing it, because it is evidence of a crime."

Increase the Excitement

When asked whether stimulation can be beneficial in any situation, experts doubt it.

"Perhaps it can work within the system of stimulation. That is, noises, signs, sounds ... can be used as additional materials, but they always make it clear what we are doing and why," says Moran.

  "The biggest problem in this is that if you go to the act of marriage for fun and end up faking it, what you get is confusion and a decrease in desire," says Jaimes.

"Desire is fed by the satisfaction of previous desires. The question is like this: more pleasure, more desire. Therefore, if you do not get satisfaction, your desire to have a relationship decreases, and if someone is ignored, you end up without a sex life".

Both experts warn of the problem of focusing only on the peak.

"It is one of the recent fears of professionals who dedicate themselves to this," explains Morán. "This is the same as what is said about the trip, that you must enjoy it from the planning stage. Although it is difficult, when everything shows that you must succeed and there are new toys that promise to make you reach the climax in two minutes and without intimacy", she continued.

Jaimes also emphasizes that one should not worry about the climax, but it should.

"Sometimes it's not visible, because we're worried, tired, on a diet, and a lot of work... But this must be something special. If you don't get it seven times out of 10, go straight to a sexologist."